Mesial Temporal Sclerosis and Prayers

I was surprised at how many e-mails and phone calls I got from people who were not at all aware of Ross's medical condition and how it came to be, so I decided to go ahead and fill you all in. Call it Memory Monday Sans Pictures.

Just after graduating in 2005, Ross and I decided that the next step for us would be to join the Air Force. Ross had always wanted to serve in the military, and we knew that this point in our lives would really be the only opportune time. He went through the process and was offered a job as an Air Traffic Controller. This was on or wish list of possible jobs- mostly because Air Traffic Controllers in the civilian world are very highly paid, and an Air Traffic Control contract with the military was only 3 years. He was scheduled to head out for training in Texas at the end of August, and I planned to stay with my parents for 12 weeks until I could move to on-base housing with him in Mississippi where he would have 3 months of Air Traffic Control training. We had just found out that I was pregnant with Emma, and we were excited to get some good insurance and move to the next stage of our lives.

This was not to be! The day that we moved our things to a storage unit in Provo was the very same day that Hurricane Katrina hit land and destroyed all of Biloxi, Mississippi. Take a wild guess where Ross was supposed to have his Air Traffic training. . . We were hoping and praying that he would be sent to another base, but this was not to be either. They needed the man power to get things fixed up down there, so after his grueling basic training, he spent six months trudging through the horrifying after-math of a Catergory 5 Hurricane trying to put the towns back together. I wasn't allowed to go out there and be with him, because there was no on-base housing anymore.

I actually went out for a couple of weeks and stayed in a hotel on base so that we could be together for a little bit before I was not allowed to fly anymore. I was shocked! I have never seen anything like it. I took some pictures, but ended up deleting them because the images did not do justice to the sad state of things, and this was not something I really wanted to be reminded of. What kind of scrap-book page would that have made?

Anyway, about a month before Emma was born, we got our orders for after training. We were very excited to get to spend our next three years in Germany! Not only would Ross get to serve his country and get fully trained in a lucrative position, but we would get to have a real European experience. Things were looking up for the Goodmans. . . That was not to be!

Ross was not with me when I had Emma. We knew that was going to be the case. He tried everything in his power to get some leave to come and be with me, especially when we found out about all the complications, but it was just not in the cards. I was holding our 3 week old baby girl when I got a call from Ross's phone. I picked it up and said, "Hey Handsome, I was just thinking about you!" Thank goodness I didn't use one of my less civilized greetings, because the answer I got was, "Ma'am, is this Mrs. Ross Goodman?" "Yes, who is this?" "My name is something Stetler, and I just thought you should know that Ross was just taken to the hospital after having a seizure."

He went on to explain that he was playing raquetteball with his roommate when he just hit the ground all the sudden and started seizing. The man who had called me was one of Ross's Mormon friends, and he and another Elder were heading to the hospital to give him a blessing, and they promised to return his phone so that he could talk to me when he was lucid again.

The next 6 weeks were full of testing and frustrations. He was kicked out of his program because his seizure made him unelligible for Air Traffic Controlling. They were trying to evaluate whether or not this would be a permanent position to ascertain whether or not he could finish out his 3 year contract under a different (infantry) position. All the testing came to find that while cleaning up all of the aftermath he contracted a virus which settled itself in his left frontal lobe causing him to have Mesial Temporal Sclerosis which manifests itself in Grand Mall Seizures. This condition made him unelligible for military duty in any form, and they FINALLY sent him back to me and his beautiful little daughter whom he had yet to meet.

When he got home, we were a little lost. We had no idea what to do now- we had our plans made, and they were good ones! Our future looked bright and planned- my favorite kind! We were starting from square one all of the sudden and we were just not sure what to do about it. After a LOT of prayers, we decided to head back up to Rexburg and see what we could find. Ross toyed with the idea of getting a second degree, but he ended up finding a good job with an insurance firm there before he could register. The financial industry was something he had always wanted to learn more about, and this company was offering to pay for the training and certification needed to become an agent, and were also offering a nice steady base before commission kicked in. This was exactly what we needed, and Ross has been loving the financial industry ever since.

Ross will probably be on medication for this condition for the rest of his life. He has had about 7 seizures since coming home- one of them in his office in Rexburg, 2 on our couch in Rexburg (these were about 12 minutes apart, and happened right next to me- one of the worst days of my life!) 3 in bed after really hard days when he was off on his meds (these were only partial seizures, but still scary) and one in his car. The medication he is on has caused him to be turned down for a few jobs, and the symptoms of his condition have made him unelligible for certain jobs as well. This is hard. We are struggling. We could use some prayers!

Speaking of prayers. . . I know this is getting long, but we have had a really good experience with something we have decided to try this week. In Elder Bednar's talk in conference, he shared an experience where he was counseled to give a family prayer that was full of thanks rather than asking. The Bednars had certain specific blessings that they were planning to ask for, but they followed the Apostle's counsel and Sister Bednar (who I love, by the way!) gave a prayer of thanks. Through this prayer, they found that they no longer felt the need to ask for those blessings because they were made more keenly aware of the blessings they already had. Ross and I have gotten a little down the last few days and have been givng some pretty selfish prayers. Well, yesterday the Spirit slapped me in the face during Relief Society (have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE Relief Society?).

First of all, it was a lesson on trials, and I had that thought of, "Oh good- I really need this because of all my trials!" Humility was the name of the game for this lesson! I felt so ashamed for feeling so picked on after reading about some of the horrible things that Joseph went through. Then the teacher spent a lot of time talking about gratitude. That was when Elder Bednar's talk started ringing in my mind, and I knew right then what I needed to do to overcome this rough patch. I needed to pray, and I needed to thank Heavenly Father. I needed to be grateful and joyful. I told Ross when I came home that I wanted a week full of family prayers where we didn't ask for anything. I was afraid he would think I was crazy, (maybe he does, I don't know) but he agreed. It has only been two nights now, but the difference is incredible! We feel so much closer together. The love is just pouring not only between us, but with our girls and with Heavenly Father. We are so blessed. We are struggling- but we are grateful for it now, and all struggles can be managed when they are really blessings in disguise.

I know it may sound silly- but our home environment has completely changed. We are just happier people now. I highly reccommend this experiment to EVERYONE! It has really made all the difference for us right now.