This song popped up on Pandora today. I love me some Sound of Music. Julie Andrews. Best Ever.
Anyway, as I sung along to these lyrics, they helped. A lot.
I found strange parallels and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. (Of course that warmth and fuzziness could be from the Big Mac my mom and dad brought me today. . .)
What will this day be like? I wonder. What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free.
My heart should be wildly rejoicing.
Oh, what's the matter with me?
I've always longed for adventure (a family)
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure (3 kids = huge adventure. True story.)
Then why am I so scared?
A captain (husband of rock-awesomeness) with seven (3, and probably more to come) children
What's so fearsome about that?
Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries.
If I don't I just know I'll turn back (wallow in depression)
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack (Here is where I started crying.)
The courage to serve them with reliance.
Face my mistakes without defiance.
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them, I'll show me. (Commence full on sobbing)
So, let them bring on all their problems.
I'll do better than my best.
I have confidence they'll put me to the test (no kidding)
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me.
Somehow I will impress them.
I will be firm but kind.
And all those children, Heaven bless them!
They will look up to me.
And mind me (most of the time, at least.)
With each step (day) I am more certain everything will turn out fine.
I have confidence the world (A happy loving family) can all be mine.
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me.
I have confidence in sunshine. (Mommyness euphoria)
I have confidence in rain. (Post-Partum Depression)
I have confidence that spring will come again. (The end of Post Partum Depression)
Besides which you see (PPD) I have confidence in me.
Strength doesn't lie in numbers.
Strength doesn't lie in wealth.
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers (See previous post.)
When you wake up -- Wake Up!
It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to.
All I trust becomes my own.
I have confidence in confidence alone-Oh help!- (I giggled at this- I so relate)
I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!
Personal revelation is real, folks, as well as someone up there who knows me so well as to place personal and unique sources of comfort in my path.