Resolutions

I know it is well past the middle of January now, but I have finally put together my resolutions this year. I was struggling with how to word what I really wanted to get from this new year, and I wanted to hold off writing them down until I had actually found something concrete to work for. I take my goal setting seriously, and was not satisfied with having abstract and vague resolutions like "more love" and "more spirituality" and "more unity" as my goals. I mean, those are good and lofty goals and are basically the central theme of what I want most in 2009- but they are really more hoped for results rather than directions.

That was a fairly long way of saying that I have now figured out my specifics for bringing about more love, more spirituality, and more unity this year, but they are going to need a little bit of background.

In September, my AMAZING Stake President (seriously one of the most amazing men I have EVER met) held a very special fireside that I think every Stake President should do. He held a question and answer session with all the women in the stake- no men invited aside from him and his presidency. He also personally challenged the men in each ward to watch the kids for the night so that we wouldn't all be wrestling babies. He gave us a few months to write down our questions and send them in, and then he prayerfully prepared his answers for each one. It was one of the most spiritual and instructional meetings I have ever been to. His answers were kind and thoughtful, and yet harshly truthful. He was blunt and honest and so very endearing. I have toyed with the idea of writing down my experience from that night many times, but always chose not to so as to avoid getting more complaints about me getting too personal on my blog.

(As a side note- stop complaining about MY blog. It hurts my feelings and makes me cry which is all very silly considering it is MY blog and you are PRIVILEGED to have the chance to have a rare insight into MY life! PS- that was not aimed at you, M. Your request was valid and I happily granted it!)

Anyway there were a few questions asked that night that had to do with keeping romance spirituality alive in a marriage where the husband spends a majority of his time at work and at church. For the answer to this question President Draper asked his lovely wife (with no warning) to come and give her ideas on the subject. Her incredibly inspired advice will be the form of my resolutions this year. Her instruction was to ALWAYS make time for 4 very special nights.

The first night was Family Night. She said that if we held Family Night without fail- whether it be on Monday or any other night that works best, the spirit will be in our homes, and unity will abound. "Without Fail sisters! Without Fail!"

The second night was Temple Night. Sister Draper said that if we are not attending the temple at least once a month, we are not getting all the blessings we need to keep ourselves sane. She suggested upping that number to as many times as possible, but said that monthly attendance was a good start. She also mentioned that this Temple Night does not have to be with our husbands if that is not possible. "You do not attend the temple to make googly eyes at each other from across the room. You attend the temple to get guidance from the Lord and protection from the world. You do not attend the temple to race to the pie in the caffeteria! You attend the temple to perfect the Saints and make sacred covenenants. It is always nice to do these things with your honey at your side, but there is also great power in lone contemplative temple attendance." That is almost word for word- and I couldn't agree more!

The third night was Date Night. She said that this must ALWAYS be a weekly event even if the date consists of putting the kids in front of a movie and snuggling in bed away from them. "You will be surprised at how meaningful simple activities will become when you place the label of 'Date Night' on it. You don't need fancy dinners or costly activities! You just need a time that is set apart for each other. Don't neglect your relationship- cherish it!" She also challenged us to make sure at least one of these Date Nights in a month is taken away from the home without the children. "If all you can pay for is the babysitter, then you can enjoy a drive without the kids! Take the time to be alone without them. You will thank me- but you should really thank God instead." She is so funny, and so wise.

The fourth night- and the night that I am most excited to commit to- is OverNight. Sister Draper told us to do what we must to find a night without our children at least once every other month. "Make friends in the ward and do an exchange. Call on the favors of a mother, a sister, or a co-worker! Do what you must to be alone with your love for 12 hours of uninterupted togetherness. These reprieves are much more important than you can even imagine. You need it- so just do it! I think most marriage counselors would be out of work if parents would take one night every other month to be with just each other away from the children."

And that's that! Those are my resolutions. Ross and I will be keeping the Four Nights consistently this year, starting with tomorrow's Family Night. I really feel that this will help us to be more unified, spiritual and loving. Having said that- let me know if any of you are willing to help facilitate one of those OverNights! Cookies of your choosing will be involved. . .:)