I love my husband! I do- he is a great guy with a warm heart and an endless capacity of strength and determination. He is my best friend and my hero. So, why, you might ask, am I writing nonsensical posts on my blog at 2:00 in the morning instead of cuddling with my beloved? Well, that is because, of all the things I love about Ross- the cacouphonous nasal serenade I get from him every night is not one of them. That is right- Ross has a dirty little secret- he snores!!! This little detail was kept hidden from me until after we were married. I suppose that could be attributed more to the fact that we were never really in a situation where something like that could be revealed before we got married than to him being sneaky. Either way though, it was a surprise of the unpleasant sort.
For most of our marriage it hasn't been a huge deal. I can usually roll him over long enough for me to fall asleep before it starts up again, or put a pillow over my ears. Unfortunately, none of my tricks have been working for the last couple of weeks. I have always been a light sleeper, but the combination of back spasms, leg cramps, and having the bladder capacity of a jelly bean have made a good night's sleep almost impossible for me. Add on to that the fact that poor Ross has been fighting a cold which has made his usually annoying snore more akin to a not-so-low rumble (could possibly be picked up on a Richter scale). Suffice it to say that sleep and I have been very distant accquaintances.
I was just telling Ross the other night how hard it has been for me with his snoring, and he insisted that it couldn't be that bad. That night I got my cell-phone with its handy dandy camcorder on it, and caught many 15 second segments of some of the loudest snoring sessions of the night. He was caught a little off guard by how loud it sounded, but then said that it was probably because the microphone was so close to him (just as close as my ears are to him when we are in bed- but whatever!) Then, tonight Emma proved her girl-solidarity to me! We were in our bed snuggling and getting ready to watch a movie (WE HEART RED-BOX) when I looked at the clock and noticed that it was Emma's bed time. When I told her this, she laid back on the pillow and closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. Then she started making this weird grunting and growling noise. Ross laughed and asked her what she was doing. She opened her eyes and said, "I sleep like Daddy." Then she closed her eyes again and continued her version of Daddy sleeping. It was fantastic- and the perfect piece of evidence!!
The moral of this post is that my husband snores, and I don't like it. I do like him though- so I guess I will just have to put up with it for a few more millenia or so.
How to Meal Plan for a Picnic by Joanne
20 hours ago