This Week in Review

There is a curious paradox
that no one can explain:
Who understands the secret of the
reaping of the grain?
Who undestands why Spring is born
out of Winter's laboring pain,
or why we all must die a bit
before we grow again?
I do not know the reason,
I only know it's true,
I hurt them for that rason. . .
and myself a little bit, too.

~ElGallo from The Fantasticks

That quote has been hanging on my fridge now for a week. It was in the program for the Fantasticks that I went to with a very good friend of mine. Emily and I were both touched by it, and had a really good conversation about it and how it has truly found application in our lives. I should have known that putting it in plain sight was pretty much an open invitation for pain and growth!

Monday Evening I got the call that I have been deading ever since we found out that Ross developed epilepsy in the Air Force (stupid Katrina! I hate you!!). The Lehi Fire Department was calling to tell me that they were on the scene of a car accident caused by Ross having a seizure while driving. They wouldn't give me any real details- just that he was talking. They let me talk to him for a few seconds, but he was still pretty out of it, and I couldn't get any real information from him either. They told me they were taking him to the American Fork Hospital, and that I should try to meet him there soon.

I found it ironic that this happened just after I had made a comment on my friend, Sarah's blog. She had written about an experience she had when her sister had lapsed into a seizure while Sarah was driving, and how stressful it had been for her. I commented about the fact that Ross had never had a seizure while in a car- only in safe places like our bed or the couch. Again- another invitation for disaster! I guess I was asking for it.

As you can imagine, I was FREAKING out. I was also drowning in guilt. The last time I had spoken to Ross on the phone that day, I had been upset with him for cancelling a plan we had made, and I had hung up on him without telling him that I loved him. I kept thinking how stupid and selfish that was of me. What if he wasn't OK? What if I had wasted one of my last coherent converstions with him caught up in my own world of pettyness?

I called my mom to see if she would watch the girls since I didn't know how severe the injuries were and I wanted to scope out the situation before bringing them in. She agreed, and actually beat me there. She called me when I was about ten minutes away and told me that he was fine, which was a HUGE relief to me. I have a very vivid imagination, and I had some pretty nightmare worthy imgaes floating around in my head.

When I got there, Dana helped me take the girls in (both of whom were sleeping) and she led me to a very coherent and even joking husband. He had a big blood stain on his shirt, but other than that he seemed fine. I guessed (correctly) that the blood had come from him biting his tongue. My mom sensed that I needed some alone time with Ross (moms are good like that!) and took Emma and Sara down to the caffeteria to let them run around for a bit. Ross said he was fine, so I crawled up into the gurney with him, and he told me what had happened. This story is full of tender mercies, and proves to me once again that God truly is aware of us and is intricately connected in every detail of our lives! I KNOW that I have my husband playing with Sara on the carpet right now because God was there with him in the timing of this would-be tragedy.

He was stopped at a stop light when he had the aura that warns him he is about to seize. His car is a manual transmission, so when he began to seize, his foot slipped off the clutch, and it immediately stalled out. The guy in the truck behind him just happened to be an EMT on his way home from work, and he recognized what was happening. He jumped out of his truck and got in the car (that just happened to let him in even though it automatically locks up after being shut off until it is opened from the inside) and got the epileptic stranger he found there into a position where he would not be a danger to himself, and then called 911. When the cops got to the scene and saw that no damage had been done to any vehicles, they chose to not write it up as an accident, and moved the car to a near-by Subway parking lot.

It turns out that Keppra, the medication the VA doctors switched Ross to a few months ago, is not working as well as they would like (understatement of the year). We have chosen to switch back to the Dylantin, even if it does give him a thicker beard. Even though the police chose to not take away his license, the doctor advised us to act as though they had- which we feel is wise. Utah law states that he needs to go seizure free for 3 months before he can have his keys back. This means that I will be playing taxi-cab for him until Christmas. This is frustrating, to say the least, but there are worse things- MUCH worse things.

We thought about selling one of our cars since we didn't want to make payments on a car we weren't allowed to use, but the day before we were going to place it on KSLCars.com, my mom called to tell me that her death-trap of a jeep had finally kicked the bucket. Their credit is messed up right now due to some mistake on the bank's part which they are in the process of clearing up. Because of this, getting a good loan on a new car is a little hard for them at the moment. They asked if they could make the payments on our spare car and use it until they can purchase their own again. We are still paying the insurance on it- but we were vey happy with this set-up because it means we get to keep the Mazda for a little bit longer- and I LOVE that car!

Anyway- things have been frustrating as we work out schedules and all the new logistics of our temporary situation, but I have been made keenly aware of our divine nature. I am filled with gratitude for the 'coincidences' that all came together at just the right moment to keep our family safe. Any spare prayers for Ross to remain seizure free, and for continued patience with each other as we drive around to appintments with both active kids in tow would be more than welcome.