I know, I know. I have Easter pictures, and they are delicious! Just you wait, and stop your nagging!
I wanted to quickly write this for a friend of mine who I recently had a conversation with that seemed to end on a wrong note. She was asking me if I thought it was appropriate for her husband to carpool alone with a girl to and from work. They have known each other a long time, and are good friends. They are both happily married, and the spouses all like and respect each other. They live close to each other, work in the same business complex, and this saves them both money.
Her sister, when hearing of this proposed arrangement, got upset and went into a long tirade of how inappropriate it was. My friend was telling me this to ask if I agreed with her sister or not.
I do. I very much do.
I wouldn't go so far as to pitch a big fight about it, but I don't find it appropriate and would not want my husband to even suggest such a thing, much less actually participate in it.
I think when I tried to explain my thoughts, this friend got a little offended thinking I was making a judgment on the status of their relationship. She got kind of cold in her tone, changed the subject, and shortly made an excuse to end the conversation entirely.
I was not. I was not making any suggestion about their relationship being weak or prone to infidelity. There is no part of me that thinks her sweet husband would ever be disloyal- but stranger things have happened and Satan is constantly looking for a way to wedge himself into happy and Eternal bonds. I, personally, would not appreciate or approve of this kind of arrangment no matter how much gas, money, or baby penguins are saved in the process.
Anyway, I know she checks this blog frequently, and I wanted to send her to my dear friend Brittany's blog who recently wrote a post about loyalty and fidelity that really touched me. She states what I was trying to convey to my friend in a much more eloquent and gentle manner. She is awesome like that.
http://mostlyprobably.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/2380/
I love my husband and I completely trust him- but never do I want him alone on a regular basis in an enclosed space with another woman. Even if he never got ideas, there is no way the other woman wouldn't. Ross is hot!
True Sib Love Always
4 days ago
6 comments:
that post mostlyprobably wrote is beautiful. so is yours, manda - i think feirce loyalty is how we should all defend our spouse, marriage, and families. i'm not married, but thanks for posting this. :)
DO NOT DO IT. My husband was the nicest guy in the WORLD. Everyone got along with him. He got along with everybody. DO NOT DO IT. DO NOT DO IT. DO NOT DO IT. I still look back on it and think, "Maybe he didn't do it. Infidelity is so out of his character." Maybe he didn't. But maybe he did. And this is how it started. He would go to lunch with his friend and friend's little sister. They all got to be good friends. After a few months it was little sister and my husband. People did not and still do not believe it when I tell them what happened. I would be a wealthy, wealthy woman if I had a nickel for every time I have heard someone say, "He doesn't seem the type!"
To Amanda's Friend: Your sister is right. Probably nothing will happen. But on the .0000001% chance that it DOES... Going through that kind of hell is never worth it. Don't even flirt with it. Satan is much more powerful than you think.
I love you, Amanda. So much I do!
I agree with you wholeheartedly. When Allen and I got married we made an agreement never to ride alone with the opposite sex. I trust him totally of course, but like Pres. Kimball said something about even the best two people in the wrong situation can fall. I had an experience with this a while ago. One of my good, very spiritual friends fell in love with a coworker. She probably wouldn't admit to that wording, but that is what happened. Their families were best friends and did everything together. He was good friends with her husband and they fished together. Well, I could tell, and most everyone could tell that emotionally she was already being unfaithful. Finally (they are school teachers) a parent wrote a note to the principal and he had to talk to them and they could've been fired. Another friend of Allen's wife had noticed and he asked him if he should talk to the man's bishop about it. Anyway, when we give ourselves to someone or something else emotionally, even if not physically, we are not faithful to our spouse. Spending time alone in a car does get people close together. My parents had a close group of friends who did a lot together. One friend was the YW pres and one was the YM pres. and they both ended up getting divorced and got together. Satan is just too crafty for us not to do all in our power to be faithful to our spouse.
i didn't mean another friend of Allen's wife...I mean the wife of Allen's friend.
My awesome father in law wrote an awesome article on this exact topic (he has been a marriage counselor for many many years). It's in the September 2009 Ensign called Fidelity in Marriage by Kenneth Matheson. I think everyone who is, was, or ever will be married should read it.
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