From the Mouth of Babes

Kids say funny things. They say them all the time, and I am rarely one to miss an opportunity to appreciate the strange and humorous way children express their logic and individuality. The best of these moments, however, seem to happen at church. I am not sure why- but I think it has a little something to do with the setting that is supposed to be calm and reverent. Now that I have been working with the children in my church for almost two years in various capacities, I have been privvy to some incredibly cute, strange, and outright funny statements. Here are a few.

*Note: some of these are actually things Ross and other teachers have heard from their Sunday School classes.

Teacher: What are some things our fathers teach us?
Kid 1: To be nice.
Kid 2:To work hard.
Kid 3: To sew. (This was followed by a strange and bewildered look from her mother who was in the room. Apparently she wasn't aware of her police-man husband's agility with needle and thread!)
Kid 4:To kiss our moms. (best ever!)

During a lesson about missionary work:
"My mom didn't go on a mission because she married my dad, and she still holds that against him!"

Giving a closing prayer:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we want to thank you for this Sunday. I want to bear my testimony that the church is true. . ."
he then proceeded to bear a testimony rather than say a prayer. For the record- it was a very sweet and heartfelt testimony!

Another closing prayer:
"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless us. I know my sister has been naughty and please help her to be nice to me because being mean is not good!"

Teacher: Saying bad words is a thing that Heavenly Father doesn't want us to do because it shows disrespect.
Child: My dad says bad words a lot. Like, all the time.

Teacher: Getting sealed in the temple is important because it makes it so our family can be together forever and they love you so much they would never want that to end.
Child: I don't think my dad really wants that. He sure yells at me a lot.

Our music leader always has some pictures or fun handouts for reverent children to pick. On the back of them is the title of the next song to be sung. One time a boy who was 11 at the time picked a picture and then read the back of it to find out what song he had chosen. . .
"Ummm, it says 'I am a child of God'. YES!!!" (accompanied with a nice fist pump and the slightest little victory hop.)

Teacher: What are some things we can do to show our love for others?
Kid 1: Be nice to each other.
Kid 2: Play with others.
Kid 3: Pray for them.
Kid 4: We can ask them to sit by us when we are at lunch and then if they say no we can pretend that we aren't mad about it, and then we can not give them a bad look when they just don't want to sit there again and then we can just tell our mom that it made us sad and she will make us feel better and tell us other people will be our friends. (did anyone follow that?)

Child: They never pick me!
Teacher: Well, maybe if you sat still and tried to be quiet like all the other kids you might get picked.
Child: But my mom said I was special 'cause I was different from everyone else!

Teacher: What are some of God's most special creations?
Child: Mermaids and princesses and unicorns and pretty dresses!

Teacher: How do our mommys show us they love us?
Child: They give us hard spanks!
Teacher (admittedly confused): What?
Child: My mom says when she spanks me it is because she loves me too much to let me be naughty. She spanks me a lot so she loves me a lot!

Teacher: What are some things that make us happy?
(among other appropriate and boring answers)
-Killing things on my games.
-Telling people my name is Batman!
-Being the most beautiful princess ever.
-Telling my mom that she is pretty even when she isn't.
-Taking off my church shoes.
-Pretending to be asleep so Mommy wont make me clean my room.

The truth is, I could go on and on. Kids are funny, and their hearts are so pure. I love working with and being around them so often. They remind me just how innocent and sweet they are, but sometimes, they also remind me of just how much they are listening to and picking up on. Things we think are over their heads or beyond their capacity are being observed and analyzed on a constant basis. It is so important to make sure our conduct, language, and actions are all loving and positively stimulating at all times when children are in our presence. I love my girls so much, and I am incredibly grateful for the gift I have been given in my role as their mother and teacher.