Saturday, May 16, 2009

Nosebleed seats at Miss Saigon

Anyone who has known me for longer than 2 hours knows that I have a slight obsession with musical theater. I love a good story told in a unique and beautiful fashion. I often imagine what my life would be like if I could just break out into song and dance to express myself, and I have had many dreams that function in that way. I truly envied the woman in Scrubs who has the anneurism that caused her to see the world as a Broadway musical.

Anyway- Ross, being the best husband ever, got us tickets to Miss Saigon playing at the Pioneer Theater in Salt Lake. It was amazing! I thoroughly enjoyed it, although I don't reccommend that anyone who would be offended by half naked girls in a Vietnamese strip club, the F-bomb, murder, songs about prostitutes, racial humor, and the word 'hump' placed in the most hilarious of places' to ever see it. It was definitely PG 13, but so beautiful.

When we got there, we saw that our seats were up on the second balcony. After climbing over the frail old people, and disabled young men with canes, we knew that we were stuck in the middle of our row for the rest of the show and prepared ourselves to 'hold it' til the show was over. Getting out for anything less than an emergency would cause a huge commotion.

I started teasing Ross about getting us seats in the nosebleed section when, I kid you not, my nose started to bleed. I say bleed, but don't be fooled. This was no slight feminine trickle of blood- this was a gushing arterial wound. I was bleeding all over the dang place. Now, remember how we were blocked on both sides? I held my nose with one hand and tried to keep my head facing upwards while rifling through my purse for anything that would offer some kind of help.

Fortunately, the sample of a feminine hygiene product I had gotten in the mail and put in my purse for those 'just in case' moments came with a handy-dandy wet-wipe to keep me feeling all clean fresh during my next woman-time. I threw the pink package at Ross and asked him to open it for me. He refused until I explained to him that it was a wipe. It took a minute or so because during all of this, I was laughing hysterically. The woman next to me realized what was happening when Ross pulled out his camera to record this lovely incident. She had a tissue which she generously gave me while laughing. I shoved that up my nose and went to work mopping up everything I had infected with the already soiled Always wipe.

I am not sure what caused this strange blood vessel burst, but it was one of the funniest things ever. God truly has a sense of humor- I think that is the only way to explain the timing.

If you did not laugh at this, I am not sure that we can be friends. Just a warning. . .


Tracie said...

Lol. I love stories like this. Very appropriate situational humor. :)

Carrie said...

It was caused by the altitude of your seats for sure! I hear Scarlet Pimpernel is coming to the Hales and that it's THE best musical.

Carrie Gross said...

So I totally didn't realize I hadn't read this post, you had just called and told me about it. hahaha I love the pictures and I love the whole story. It is awesome, you are awesome, and I'm very happy we are friends!