Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hot, Hotter, and Hottest
Anyone who has seen the news knows that our lovely three digit weather out here, mixed with the lovely dryness of our state has produced some lovely fires that have destroyed over 700 square miles of our lovely state. This has left our air full of some lovely smoke that makes me sneeze and cough- all of which makes my lovely and shapely stomache contract and causes some lovely pains. Now- as if all of this were not enough to make us completely miserable- our lovely air conditioner has decided to retire at the lovely age of 25 (that's like 150 in A/C years).

Our little family has been living in our stuffy little apartment for two weeks waiting for our land lord to finally get up out of his comfy chair in his beautiful air conditioned 3 million dollar home, and make a call to someone other than his golf buddies (unless of course one of his golf buddies moonlights as an A/C repair man). The coolest our apartment has reached in the last 10 days was a nice 81 degrees. If I turn the oven on for anything, it quickly rises to the 90's.

Our land lord has been kind enough to give us some pointers on how to stay cool. For instance, he suggested that we simply open the windows so that we can get some air circulation. Unfortunately, when the air outside is 105 degrees, and the air inside is 88 degrees, all that does is blow hotter air into our hot air. He also sugggested putting fans in all of our rooms so that not only do we blow all the hot air around, but we also raise our electric bill exponentially. Actually, we do keep a fan running, and while sitting in the direct lane of the air flow from the fan, it can be nigh comfortable. Unfortunately that means that we can't move anywhere else in the house without quoting one of the most annoying lines from the Wizard of Oz.

We have had Emma sleep with us every night so that she doesn't over heat in her room. We all sleep on top of the covers and try to not touch each other so as not to contract any heat from anyone. It is a fun game! This horrible heat has been really hard on me and little Fuzzy. I have found myself praying to the Porcelin Gods much more often than I like to admit.

Yesterday I was here at work just shivering because it was so cold. I was complaining to the maintenance man and asking if he could fix it for me. He went and looked at the thermostat and laughed because it was 75 degrees, and he is supposed to keep the waiting area at 72 degrees, or he gets in trouble for over heating our clients. I have become so acclamated to stifling heat, that I can no longer be comfortable in climates that are appropriate for normal upright bipeds. I guess I will have to join the desert dwelling nomads out in the desert- all because of our lazy, rich land lord (who is actually so pleasant while in my presence that I can't be angry with him until he leaves my presence and I remember that I am now doing twice as much laundry because everything I wear gets sweat-soaked in less than an hour).

The moral of this story is that I am HOT!!!