God Is a Smart Dude

For a few weeks before the funeral, I had been experiencing some pretty severe pains in my abdomen and back. I thought it was from kidney stones, so I had been doing some things to help with that. On the way home from the funeral, I got a severe pain that felt like someone had just punched me in the back. Ross offered to take me to the hospital, but I told him I just needed to get home and rest and get some fluids.

I should have listened to him.

When I got home, I started to bleed. A lot. I got really dizzy and was pretty scared, and the pain started intensifying a lot.

Ross quickly called a sitter, and we headed to the ER. Some IV fluids helped me not feel as dizzy, and laying with my feet up controlled the bleeding a bit, so I was deemed as non-emergent as was sent home with the new that there was a strange mass in my uterus causing the bleeding, but they couldn't do anything else for me at the time. I was just to rest and follow up with my OB. Frustrating and totally scary. Keep in mind that I had JUST got home from burying my sister-in-law who had died of cancer. The term 'strange mass' had me panicking, and I was furious that they wouldn't help me further.

The next morning, Ross and I were up early to get in touch with my OB. Turns out there was some kind of conference, and more than half of the OBs in the area were out of town. We finally tracked down one who had an opening for the next day, but it took hours of phone calls and pleading. I was still bleeding and was constantly battling vertigo and pain. Frustrating.

I got a sitter for the kids the next day, and Ross met me at the OB office. As soon as the doctor put the ultrasound wand on my belly, he said I needed surgery. I had a giant polyp that was pulling away from the uterus wall and was causing some significant tearing. He was pretty upset I had been sent home. We were glad to have some validation. My surgery was scheduled for the next morning, and everything went well. I was sent home with instructions to take it easy.

That wasn't too hard, since I went home with no bleeding, but a nice new case of Strep throat. Once I got some antibiotics for that from the Instacare a couple of days later, I was finally able to feel like myself again.

When I started to recover, I was surprised to see how good it felt. I had no idea how sick I was. This had been coming on for a while, and it has been gradually wearing on me. To feel so good again was amazing.

Now, when all of this was going down, I was pretty mad at God. I mean really? Didn't he think we had been through enough already without this kind of stress taking us down? As I was yelling at him about this one day, he took some time to explain it all to me.

We had been doing everything we could to support and help Rex and his family before and right after Jeni's death. God knew that this condition was happening within me, but He allowed me to be blissfully ignorant so that I could be there for them in the small ways I was. It wasn't until AFTER the viewings and the funeral that it was brought to my attention.

Not only had God allowed me to serve in the tiny ways I did, but He also gave me a good way to distract myself from the sadness of it all when there was no longer anything I could do for them. Judy was staying with them, so I knew they were well tended to, and I knew they would need some time to adjust without extra bodies in their way for the next little bit. Without this distraction, I may have gone crazy.

 Plus, I got some healing snuggles from this guy. He never left my side while I was sick, although he is a bit of a pillow hog...

God is smart, and he knows what He is doing.