Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Genesis 3:15

"And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel."

This has been one of my very favorite scriptures ever since August 17, 2004. That was the day I went through the temple for the first time. Of all the other things that I learned and experienced that day- that quoted scripture that I had read and heard a number of times before struck me with force.

At the time, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with my life. I was getting married in a week and was trying to get things together for that while staying within my parent's budget and my time limits, I was preparing for my first teaching job that was to start a few days after my wedding, and was trying to make money in any way possible since Ross and I literally had less than $200 to our name when we got married. We had both worked over that summer, but then we had to pay our rent, insurance payment, hotel fees for the worst honeymoon imaginable (more on that later. . .), and tuition. I had just finished my stint as an EFY counselor and was exhausted physically and mentally- even though I LOVED that experience. Things were just piling up and it was starting to get to me. I was worried and frustrated and my temper was connected to an unusually short fuse. Not the best way to be feeling when taking on sacred covenants- but I suppose that is when Satan works his hardest!

In other words- I was feeling that enmity spoken of in that scripture. I was face to face with the hostile environment that is talked about in that scripture, and it came to my realization that it was God who put that enmity there. The stress and anger and volatility I was feeling was facilitated by my loving Father in Heaven, and that, for some reason, was calming to me. I didn't yet comprehend (nor do I now- but I am closer) just why God would have wanted to place enmity among his children, but I was comforted in knowing it was just part of God's plan of happiness for us.

Then came the rest of the scripture, and I wept. "It shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel." Whatever stress, frustration, anger, bitterness, or other evil emotion I was feeling overcome with, I knew that Satan, the author of such sensations, was very limited in his power over me. Whatever I was feeling, the extent of his power ended at the bruising of my heel. I had the upper hand in this situation as I have the power to crush his head.

I used to be a dancer. I was on a ballroom team in college, and I loved it. One day, while waiting for a rehearsal to start, I was lying in the practice hall on my stomach reading something for one of my classes. Another girl on the team was practicing a difficult part of a new routine with her partner when she went careening away from him in an uncontrolled spin and stepped on my upturned bare heel with her downturned spiked high heeled latin sandal. She bruised my heel. It hurt. A lot. No blood was shed, but there was a tender black and blue square on my heel for weeks. I felt that bruise with every step I took. The injured spot was smaller than an inch, but was a constant reminder of that silly little accident.

As I heard that scripture in that holy place, I was reminded of that experience. The power Satan has is miniscule, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. The injuries he causes may be smaller than an inch in diameter, but that doesn't mean we won't feel them with every step we take in our life. I also knew that in order to crush the head of the Serpent, I would have to use that sore and battered heel to do so. My power over him is great. God prepared things to be like that, but it will cause pain in the process.

This is something I have been clinging to in my life at this time. Lately I have found myself being quick to anger and judgment. I have been tired and sad and easily offended over little things. I have had to daily remind myself that as bad as things can feel at times- there is really a very limited effect being had on me. My heel is being bruised, and it is painful and annoying. However- that is all he can do. He can bruise a tiny little portion of me- and that is all. I can destroy him and his power over me.

As tired and overwhelmed as I feel at times, I am trying hard to focus on all the amazing things in my life right now. I am truly very blessed. I have found this change of perspective can be challenging, but it seems to be crushing the head of my tormentor faster than any other method I have yet found.

Just know, if you see me limping just a bit, that I am trying to heal from my recent bruising- but I am so happy. My heel is sore- but my soul is grateful, my body is fruitful, and my life is blessed!

2 comments:

emily said...

manda -

thank you thank you for posting this today - you are a wonderful teacher and all too frequently so in tune that you know instictively what people need to hear. thank you for your testimony - i love you. :}

Carrie said...

like.