Retroactive Gratitude

I know I have some catching up to do- but I wanted to get down some thoughts I have had recently. In talking to some friends and reading the stories of other people, I have come to have a renewed sense of gratitude for something that happened a while ago- almost 4 years ago to be exact.

One of the girls I went to highschool with recently had a baby boy who came a few weeks early. This early delivery has caused him to be on oxygen since he was born, and he spent quite a while in the NICU. He was 3 weeks early, and was 5 pounds and 11 ounces when he was born.

A friend in my ward recently told me her first son was 3 weeks early, and spent some time in the NICU for breathing problems as well.

A friend of a friend just had a baby 2 weeks early, and she has been on oxygen and has not been allowed to leave the hospital even though she was born more than a month ago. Her future will likely include an inhaler and constant check ups concerning her vascular system.

Now, why would all of these stories make me so grateful? Believe me, I am not excited to hear sad stories. I'm not really like that. Rather, it brings me back to about 4 years ago when I had an emergency C-Section for Emma. She was 4 weeks early, weighed 5 pounds 12 ounces, and was perfect in every way! She breathed, ate, and slept wonderfully. I left the hospital a day early, and Emma had no health problems at all related with her early and rushed delivery. I had no idea what a strange anomaly this perfection was. She was so tiny, and apparently, most children born with her statistics had problems that necessitated extra care, prayers, and hospital time. Emma did not.

This may be odd, but I am just once again overcome with gratitude for the way the Lord carried me through those incredibly hard days back then. I was so upset with God at that time for a lot of things and was nursing a wounded body mind and spirit. Ross was gone, I was living with my parents, and my husband lost his ability to serve his country and support his family when he incurred a permanent and life altering condition. Things were rough. When I see these tender mercies that were before now unknown to me, it shows me just how lucky I truly am. The Lord is VERY aware of me, and what I can handle- and for that, I am grateful.